Top 15 symptoms to know if you have Exam Blues

A note that I wrote about 2 years ago.

Another term draws to a close, another set of exams approaches. I realize that I’ve never taken exams with such frequency, ever. What this is meant to accomplish, is beyond me. Only God (or in this case, the PGP Chairman) would know, I guess. Each time I have exams, I wonder about the futility of taking them seriously, but eventually end up succumbing to the hype and struggle to prep. That is when it strikes.. The Exam Blues. One of the most time-wasting, irritating and occasionally funny phases during the exam season.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional :P You know who you are ;)

Here’s a list of the top 15 symptoms to know if you have the Exam blues (data collected through observation of subjects affected by the said disease):

1. You are more active on FaceBook than you usually are. You find yourself going through the vacation photos of A, who is a colleague of B, who used to live in the same neighborhood as you ten years ago.
2. You complain/bitch/whine/crib to your roommate or anyone who cares to listen to (or not) about how much you hate studying for the exams, how much you need to study, how much you are going to study in the next hour, how much you were supposed to cover in the last hour but haven’t etc...
3. You’re sleeping more than ever. You cannot stay up and study, even if your life depended on it. It’s so bad that the night before the exam you fear the most, you’re practically struck by sleeping sickness and knocked out cold. Nothing, not even the threat of a D or an F, can wake you up.
4. You suddenly remember that you used to like Elton John and wonder why you stopped listening to his music all those years ago. You immediately embark on a mission to not rest until you download his entire Greatest Hits collection and catch up for all the time you lost out on.
5. Since you have more free time now (or that’s what it seems like), you decide to catch up with ‘that guy’ on messenger, the mere thought of whose presence online made you dread logging in, and ensured you were always in ‘Invisible’ mode.
6. You are increasingly drawn to well-written, intelligent, enlightening articles titled ‘Will human life be wiped out by a BP-induced methane eruption?’ or ‘Confessions of a Parking valet’ or ‘Newsflash: The onlies aren't lonely, and your sibling may have scarred you for life’ or ‘46 smart uses for salt’.
7. You find that the food being served at the cafeteria is not meeting your daily nutritional requirements and hence, for the sake of your physical well-being and the importance of having a ‘balanced diet’, you have no choice but to eat out as often as you can.
8. Films that are the delight of every critic will start catching your eye, ones with classic titles like ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians’, ‘The Giant Spider Invasion’ or ‘Jaani Dushman: Ek Anokhi Kahani’. You just cannot continue with what you were doing until you watch it. You’ll borrow your friend’s hard drive, send multicast messages at 2 am, anything.. Just so you can catch a glimpse of your favorite C-grade movie.
9. Will she or wont she??? ‘She’ being Bella Swan of Twilight. Will she become a vampire or not? If yes, when??!? Will she pick a guy already??? Or will she continue being a b**ch?? Maybe I’ll know by the end of this book… 2 days later…. Whatta b**ch! Hmm… Maybe I should read the next book to find out if she comes to her senses…
10. You feel that this is the best time to read some random blogger’s hilarious/lame-ass jokes (depends on how you look at it) on anything and everything and tormenting others to read it as well. Some of them that you should try when you’re feeling extremely jobless -http://twitter.com/rameshsrivats, http://krishashok.wordpress.com or http://www.thevigilidiot.com/
11. You decide to write blogs/notes dishing out gyaan about things no one cares about so that you can end up wasting the reader’s time as well. Stuff like ‘Top 15 symptoms to know if you have Exam Blues’ :)

P.S. Yes, I know there are only eleven in a list that’s called the ‘Top 15’. Did I mention that you sleep more often during the exams than you usually do? Excuse me, while I take my fourth nap of the day

Why now?

I have been mulling this over for the last few days. Is this something I want to get back to? It's not something I did in earnest even when I did do it a few years ago. 

I'm not a writer. I have never tried to be one. I've been told that I have a flair for writing, but I don't think that's true. I must however admit that regardless of how good or bad I may be at it, I do enjoy it. It is indeed gratifying to be able to see a product of your imagination, or whatever the hell it is, out there for all the world to see. Whether or not someone sees it, or even likes it, is a different story altogether.

Why now? At a time when the most of the world is shrinking its thoughts to fit into 160 characters, what is the point in going back to an outdated medium of expression?

The only way I can explain this is that by doing this I am hoping to bring about some changes in another aspect of my life, issues that I do not wish to delve into at this time. If I succeed, nothing like it. But if I don't, I would have spent my time doing something I (used to?) like. 

I would have loved to have a journal full of my thoughts to glance through, to know the person I used to be. But not having one, ain't that bad. I still have my old blog and I am not that old.. I can still make memories.

Tashan - A Review

On my way back after watching the movie, I was in such awe of the movie, especially the ending, that I was dumbfounded. I kept wondering why Yash Raj would make this kind of a movie. It seemed like 3 or 4 different people had written different parts of the movie and the director knitted them all together(and failed miserably). If this is how movies are made these days, then I apologize for my naivete.

All the hype surrounding the movie and Kareena's 'new toned look' will probably carry the movie for a few weeks. But it can certainly not depend on word-of-mouth publicity, because of people like myself and others, who could not make any sense of the movie.

As for the story, I'm not sure of where to start. Saif plays Jimmy, a BPO employee turned dreamy-eyed lover turned police informer turned gangster turned loyal friend. The 'lovee' in question, is of course Pooja (Kareena) who works for an english-challenged don, Bhaiyyaji (Anil Kapoor) who hires Jimmy to teach him to speak in english. What follows is a butchery of the language, numerous pathetic attempts at humor by Anil Kapoor and a lot of double crossing.I wonder if including a lot of so-called 'twists and turns' in the plot qualifies a movie to be called a 'thriller'.

Getting back to the story, Pooja convinces Jimmy to steal Bhaiyyaji's money because she has to either work off her debt to him or marry him. When they do steal the money, Pooja runs off with it and leaves Jimmy to take the fall. It is later revealed that Bhaiyyaji killed Pooja's father and that she's working for him only to seek vengeance. If that were the case, why does she run off with the money? How did that serve the purpose?

At this point, enters Bachchan Pandey (Akshay Kumar) the only bright light in this mess of a movie. He has become adept at playing the small-town guy. But hey, I'm not complaining. Because his presence is what saved me from cringing at what was being played out on the screen. He's called in by his idol, 'the' Bhaiyyaji, to take Jimmy and Pooja and retrieve the money, because the stash has apparently been hid all over the country. Now, why someone who has plans of running away/seeking vengeance (i'm not sure of the motive) would do this, is beyond me.

As if the story wasn't contorted enough already, there's a sub-sub-plot which is about how Pooja/Gudiya and Pandey are childhood sweethearts. Was this an attempt to woo the cow-belt audience or the K-serial fans?

In a shootout sequence which is supposed to be reminiscent of the Matrix series, comes Kareena's moment of glory! Her 'action sequences' which were touted as the reason behind her slimming down! She brilliantly handles the difficult task of shooting 2 bullets!! My goodness! Today's actresses are daredevils, i tell you! Any comparisons, by ANYONE, of Kareena's look or character to Uma Thurman's in Kill Bill are grossly misplaced! She is nowhere in her league and will never be. There's no way on the planet (or on Mars) that someone who cannot keep a straight face for even a second, without making some animated expressions, can be compared to Thurman. Even if she does fire 2 bullets and do weird wire stunts. As for her look, anybody who has watched Dhoom2 would recognize how it has been 'inspired' by Aishwarya's look in it. Ofcourse, as my friend wisely pointed out: Ash looked sensational, but Kareena looks like a guy..!

Saif Ali Khan needs to get a grip on himself. Everyone knows that he has 'Kareena' tattooed on.. wherever. He doesn't need to keep jumping into the frame saying 'what an actress' to let everyone know that they're seeing each other.Now for Anil Kapoor. He is NOT funny. Rather, quite annoying with his pitiful jokes. His character is a rickshaw puller before he becomes a Don. Well, i have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is the way he's killed. (I'm not being a spoil sport by revealing it. I'm being benevolent. You'll know why).

The ending: The great Don's entire platoon of goons is defeated by the 3 protagonists. Only the 4 of them remain. Then, out of nowhere, comes the Don, riding a rickshaw! Yes, a rickshaw!!! What was the rickshaw doing there? Where did it come from? Why did he choose to ride it? Couldn't he afford a better getaway vehicle?? He rides toward them. Why?? Suddenly, Kareena is flung into the air by Akshay and Saif. Why?? She lands on the rickshaw, right behind Anil and stabs him. What the hell was that!?! I was thinking the same thing.

The way they keep repeating the word 'tashan' every few minutes in the movie, is like, they know that the audience wont remember what they are watching, either out of boredom or disorientation, and they have to be reminded of the same. Credit where credit is due: the movie does have a few hummable tunes. My favorite being Falak tak. Dil dance maare is a humorous song.I wouldn't say that the movie is worth watching for Akshay Kumar(although i ought to), because unless you plan to leave half hour before the movie winds up, its definitely not advisable.

If you thought the review was confusing, you'll have a blast watching the movie. Good luck with that!